I am trying to sit here to blog...but my ass is twitching...don't you hate that!! I was the victim of yet another casual word that wasn't kept and it's like several in a row now from this same person and it's caused my ass to twitch again.
I can sum it up in one word. INTEGRITY. Something I was taught to live by. My folks must of raised me with Stone Age Discipline, cause I sure don't find a lot of that running around anymore. And I...like an out dated fool...raised my kids with those same standards. It's simple really. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Or you could say, Stand my your WORD. Cause today...words don't mean dick!!
What has happened to us? Why can't people just say what they mean. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Give me what you actually are thinking. I'll love you for it. Even if it's cutting me to the bone, I will most assuredly appreciate your honesty. Just say it like it actually is PLEASE!! How did we become a society of mamby pamby folks who need everything sugar coated. If I'm talking to you, you are getting my honesty opinion, sugar withheld. You know where I stand. That's what I want from you. I think it's a fair trade...but instead I get alot of empty words that float off in the air. WTF!!! And if you tell me...'I am going to help you do this on that day'...then you'd better be there to help. Don't tell me what I want to hear when you are looking me in the eyes, and then come up with some lame ass excuse when I need you there. You just can't count on most folks anymore and it's making my ass twitch on a fine and otherwise peaceful Sunday. SHIT!!
It's as if we...adults and wise....have yet to figure out that nothing we agree to prior to an event will be what we want to do when that day rolls around. Of course it's not going to end up being convenient or even fun when it comes right down to it....but if you SAID you'd do it...then get off your lazy inept ass and get it done. It's really that simple. My kids spent some years hating me, but I made them keep their words....now of course they are out of my house and on their own and I can't hold that reign of terror over them and they too have slacked off. It's a bitch when you make plans with one of your adult kids and you have to say Give you your WORD AND STAND BY IT!! But they all know Momma gets pissed as hell if they break it with me!! They got smart and used it against me on numerous occasions, but I always upheld my WORD. They wanted to have a sleep over with some friends and I said sure, ..and didn't specify a number limit...like a fool....cause back in the day...I was on single mom overload most of the time. So the day before the party I'd find out there were 20 girls coming over and I'd have a fit and say, 'that's too many!!'...and they would come back and say...'You never said a limit!!'. True enough, I didn't...MY MISTAKE... Well, alright if you've already invited them all, then they can come, but we are drinking Shasta colas instead of Coke and eating SaveMore chips...but I'll cover it, cause you're right...I said yes and didn't give you a limit'. (you can bet I set limits after that!!) Mom lived up to her word....she expected the same from them!! It was the one point I went postal on working on an AfterProm committee...some of the moms wanted to change up the rules at the last minute as to who could attend and I raised my mighty Integrity Banner and when they pulled a fast one, I told them all to go to hell, I wasn't going to be a part of it...but I still showed up the night before to help decorate for it...cause I told the Decorations Committee Chair I'd be there...didn't want to be....didn't want to deal with those 'Everything has to be MY Way' bitches from hell...but I went and I worked cause I SAID I would. That simple!!
So if you tell somebody that you 'll come help them paint their kitchen on Saturday, I don't give a shit what else comes up that would be so much more fun to do...or how hung over you are from the party the night before...if you said it...get it done. That simple!! Of course we live in an imperfect world and people get sick or break bones or have a family member that ends up in the hospital...there are legit reasons you might have to break your word...but for the most part, it just boils down to the fact folks think they can say whatever and not stand by it.
I guess this would be a good time to say I'm not looking down from on high having never pulled this shit before, but I can say I do make it a point to not let it happen now. And here's the thing, if you are not sure you can commit to it, then SAY THAT!! If you invite me to a house warming party on Saturday that starts early with a paint brush in hand, and I know I have several things to knock out on Saturday...I'm not gonna look at you and randomly say 'Oh sure, I'll be there'. I'm gonna tell you I have a lot to do, but I will try. A definite MAYBE. And then, I really will honestly try to get my shit done so I can come over if I've told you I will try to. Or you can invite me to a candle party and I know straight up I don't have the extra to spend on candles and I'm not going if I can't buy anything and I'll tell you. I'm out of extra play money right now, so I'm not coming. It's simple really. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
Sooooo, last night we had a gathering at the house. And I had talked face to face with a friend of mine last weekend who is single and told her I had a guy I wanted her to meet if she wanted to and if she was sure she was coming to my gathering, I'd invite him out to. Just let me know what you want to do. And she said she wanted to meet the guy and she would come. I had to pin her down, cause the last four or five times I've invited her to the house for one thing or another she has said she'd come and then never showed....and texted later with....oh yes..you've guessed it...a lame ass excuse. So...she was sure she wanted to meet the guy and she was coming. Great. We get it all set up...the guy knows he's coming out to meet some chick and he shows and ......oh yeah...for like the fifth time running...she's a no show. Now I have to feel bad for the guy...who drove out for a reason. Oh he had a great time...really enjoyed himself...and I think those two would have really hit it off...woman's intuition or something like that...which is why I have been trying to come up with a casual meeting for the both of them since last spring......and I get her WORD that this is what she wants and she is coming and then.....WHAM. Thus the ass is twitching. And now...after years of knowing her...I have to put her in the category of 'can't believe anything she says'. Which pisses me off, cause this is not the way she use to be. What the hell happened? What happened to her integrity? Why does she think our friendship is such a dime store thing that she can lie to me. I don't even want to call her to hear the lame ass excuse...I think it would make me go postal. So...instead...I will sit here and appreciate the folks in my life who give it to me straight and mean what they say. Here's to them....you are most appreciated in this girl's life!! There are just very few of us left....and we need to stick together!!
So.....yeah.....that's the dill pickle about that!!
Well, now I'm feeling a slight bit guilty for not coming out on Saturday - but I don't recall ever telling anyone that I would FO SHO without a doubt be there. I am pretty certain I made it clear and known that we had a ball tournament and were not in the know on the game times due to it being all bracket play. But I did stay up too late on Friday and drink too much with the son and friends - which thereby led to my ultimate inability to make it out Saturday after games were over and so for that I take responsibility. Had I NOT stayed up all night Friday night, I could have likely drug my tired ass over for at least a couple of hours Saturday night. But then I would have had to have left because we had ball again the next day. It's just like that with me in the summer - this ball thing - it's all consuming. Anyway - hope I'm not at the root of some of your ass-twitching too!
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