I know a lot of folks on anti depressants. How weird is that. Do they actually work? I've always thought medicating your self because you are sad is like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. After the meds wear off...isn't what ever made you sad in the first place still going to be there? And if you keep medicating yourself...how are you ever going to change the circumstances to something that makes you happy? It doesn't make sense. I can understand how people fall into it....but it still doesn't make sense.
Oh I'm not saying my world is wonderful and happy and I never feel sad. Quite the contrary!! But I have learned some things in all these stressful years that help me muchly....wanna hear 'em? K...read on!!
Well, first off, I guess I should say that I've learned that sorrow is a very unproductive emotion. It happens, but it's not productive. So if I get my feelings hurt...the first thing I tend to do is get mad...now ANGER...THAT is something I can work with....it's a very energetic emotion!! If you get me all pissed off and frothing at the mouth, I am gonna find something to take it out on. Lots of times it's my house....I'll will scrub the ever lovin' shit out of my hardwood floors...pretending it's the face of who ever is pissing me off and by the time I'm all worn out and tired of being mad, my house is usually clean. So see, not only do I feel better for having worked thru my anger, but my house is now clean and I must go out and find a way to treat myself for cleaning house!! :)
Something else that soothes me when I've had a bad day...and they happen more often than not, is my gardens. I understand completely why God walked thru them in the cool of the day. He has a LOT more to get upset over than the things in my trivial little life. Gardening is just so soothing and satisfying. Truly it is!! First off, if you think about it, a lot of what you do gets undone almost as fast as you do it...try getting all the laundry caught up in the evening. Before you go to bed...there's more shit in the dirty clothes hamper. Get all your supper dishes done? Good for you, but don't walk thru the house or by your kitchen sink before bed, cause you are gonna find more shit has accumulated before your fingertips loose the raisin look. I can mop my hardwood floors and they look like hell before the day is thru. But in the garden...oh yes...my wonderful beautiful garden...I can pull weeds tonight, and tomorrow...they will still be gone!!! Oh yeah, they will grow back, but it will take a few weeks and in the mean time, I can walk around and see what I accomplished yesterday or even last week!! There is something that makes me feel well inside by putting things right for growing plants, and they reward me with beautiful blooms or tomatoes or cucumbers or whatever they have to give. And I love it!!
People tend to make my ass twitch. Oh there are many I love and they really do enrich my life, but there are far more that make me want to scream and pull out my hair...or theirs!! Get over it...Grow the fuck up...Nobody cares....You are lying thru your teeth...BITE ME..Are you fucking goofy????!!!!...just a few of the many phrase that roll thru my head on any given day as I stand by someone and vacantly stare at what ever they are saying or doing.....NOT SO IN MY GARDEN!! I have a black snake and many wolf spiders and they love me and come to visit. They don't even cuss me out when I pour water over their webs or in their holes...they just run off to the side and right back once the ground has sucked up the downpour. And they like the water drops on the leaves. We have delightful conversations and they always know exactly what I mean!! And I have Liddy Kitty Cat Dog who always comes out to the garden and rolls in the dirt and purrs and keeps me delightful company...she even gets a good scratching or...twelve and she doesn't care one bit if I have dirt on my fingers when I do it. Now THAT is some quality friendship!! The dogs are always happy to help out in the garden...but the puppies tend to think it's a great idea to dig..and dig and then go dig and they haven't quite gotten the concept of NOT digging up the plants....we're working on it...but if I enjoyed planting it in the first place...I still enjoy planting it again...so those damn digging machines are pretty much off the hook. It's hard to piss me off in my gardens.
So yes, today started off busy and good, but I got everything done and it dragged on and on. The final straw was when the ADHD Queen came in and tried to show me how to print out a report our boss wanted her to do...THIS MORNING...it's now quarter after three and I have 45 minutes I was going to coast thru...or so I thought. By the time she spent a half hour trying to figure out how to get the report so she could show me how to get the report I was frothing..BIG TIME. And she STUNK!! I shit you not...she smelled like BO and I was thinking DAMN GIRL are you so ADHD that you can't even remember to put on some deodorant in the mornings?? Good Lord!!! The deal was sealed when I took the report into my boss and apologized for not getting it to her in the morning...but she didn't ask me...she asked the ADHD Queen and we all know where that leads...and my boss proceeds to get pissed as hell, because I wasn't suppose to do it..the Queen was...she dumped it on me!!!! ALLLLLRIGHTYTHEN!!! It's official...today has gone to shit!! So here I am....waiting for things to cool down a little at my computer...fuming still over the crap that is allowed to go at work...and I know that before this evening is over, all will be well with me and right with the world...I'm heading for the garden. Gonna hook up a Miracle Grow feeder to the hose and feed all my little green babies and when the ground is good and soaked I'm gonna pull the occasional bit of grass or weed growing up and in between all of that I'm gonna have a few beers and I will end this glorious night with a shower and a simple late evening supper. And I will wake up refreshed and ready to head out into a wonderful day.....
which will get all fucked up before it's done...but that's okay...cause tomorrow night, the garden awaits...or maybe I'll walk peacefully in fresh cut grass behind my push mower...which will hum and sing and block out all the noise from the rest of the world and be just as soothing and relaxing...and I can pretend each blade of grass is the head of the fool who pulled my string!!! And when all my irritation is spent....you guessed it...I will have a beautiful yard and/or gardens. And then....yep!!...I'll have to treat myself for a job well done!!
Antidepressants????? LMAO I'll meet you in the garden.....and THAT'S the dill pickle bout that!!
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