Big Pant

I have finally found the secret to feeling thin and beautiful...it's simple really...BUY BIG ASS PANTS!!! I should market it on Ebay and make my millions. I'm serious. I have all these summer capris I have bought over the years...most at garage sales and on clearance racks in late fall....and they are all a little big on me. All those short cargo pants are not really form fitting..they are loose in the seat and the legs...and I wear them around work all day...pulling them up cause they are all cut below the waist these days...and I feel all this ROOM in my drawers and I'm thinking...YEAH BABY.....This ass is little!!!!! It's such as awesome feeling!!! Every woman should enjoy this moment in time!!!

I can be contemplating bashing some twit's head in with my heavy duty stapler and then decide my coffee is cold and get up to walk to the kitchen area to get a fresh cup...and the walk allows my big ass to breath in all this extra space in my capri's and suddenly...I'm feeling generous and ready to give the dumbass twit from the seventh realm of hell another hour to breath!!!! It's truly amazing!!! Something about having to give the ole waistband a tug up to keep from looking all 'getto boy- pants on the ground' like is just the most uplifting feeling and a woman might just be able to see the bright side of life and allow the idiots at Fools, Inc to live for another day!!! Even after they have just tried to 'help' her finish a new report they are supposedly training her for...and she ends up loosing an hour and a half of work....if she can just grit her teeth til she gets up and walks to the coffee pot...she can find the strength to redo the report just lost...and allow said fucking jerk off to live...and feel young and thin in her baggy pants.

I'm telling ya...go out right this minute and by some baggy pants for work. It could save some body's life!!! I'm just saying is all!! Ya gotta make some big ass choices in life for the sake of all the FOOLS out there....and THAT'S the dill pickle 'bout THAT!!!!

I survived the work week and will not being going to prison for murder...yet!!!!!!....Glory to GOD!!!!! :P