Learning new things

I just learned something new yesterday...don't you love that...no matter how old you get, you still can pick up on a new thing or two everyday!! Well, after seven years with Mr Fixit, I learned something new about him. He has a thing for older women. NO SHIT!! And I'm not talking attractive older women with fancy hair and jewelry sitting on a bar stool. I'm talking about our friends MOMs!! LMAO We have several friends whose parents live close and remain very involved in their lives (they would tell you TOO involved) and he seems to have a knack for hitting it off with all of them, especially the moms....he gives them nick names like Viagra Woman and Spanky and teases them shamelessly and they LOVE him for it. He just has a hankerin' for the sassy old gals it seems. Thank God, cause that's what he's ending up with on this end!!! LMAO

We went to a party just down the road from us last night. Beautiful home and yard and lots of good eats. It was the put on by a couple who were celebrating her 40th b-day, but it was actually a surprise party for her brother and his wife, who were celebrating their 10th anniversary. After several drinks we started calling it the Annibirthary Party. LOL It was mainly her family and a few friends and we were lucky enough to be invited and even luckier that Mr Fixit got off from the coal/gravel mines with enough energy to clean up and go.

So we are sitting there in our canvas lawn/camping chairs just enjoying the cool of the evening and the cool of a beer on ice and here comes this old woman with a chair and just plops down between the two of us. She and Mr Fixit start up a conversation...I didn't even recognize her at first, but it turns out she's the mom of the b-day girl and the guy with the anniversary and related to almost everyone there. She has different hair and has dropped a lot of weight since I saw her last, but that was quite a while back. Next thing I know, Mr Fixit has her giggling like a school girl and he's calling her Ridge Runner cause she grew up in southern Missouri by the Arkansas border. Teasing her that one of her legs was shorter than the other and repeatedly offering to go out in the timber and cut her a switch if he gets too out of line. She hung with him the rest of the night, smacking him on the arm like a bad child and laughing herself silly...except for when her husband woke up and the adult kids were to afraid to go into the bathroom to check on him. Old Sassy Mom to the rescue...got the old man who I'm not sure even knew he was at a party out to a chair and sitting down and right back over to Mr Fixit she come a runnin.

Birthday girl put some music on in the garage, cause we had consumed just enough antifreeze to think we could dance together and we are in there cuttin' it up and singing along to 'Sugar', by the Archies....remember that one? No...get the hell off my blog you are far to young to read this shit!!! Any hoo...here comes Mr Fixit, cause he is always up to shake his groove thang and right behind him comes Mom!!! She's in there just a dancin a way with the rest of us. I never laughed so hard in a garage, dancing to old tunes in my life!

I was starting to get worried I may have a little competition getting the old man to come home with me, but about then they loaded the old man up in Mom's car and she looked like she was leaving...but NO...she ran around that party another 10 minutes saying her good byes and getting her hugs...I even GOT TWO!!! And Mr Fixit....well he danced her all the way to the driver's door of the car...giggling like a young school girl and he got a big hug too. I don't think the poor old man waiting in the car even knew he was in a car...or waiting on her. I felt a little sorry for her when she drove off. It was plainly obvious that old gal coulda stayed on longer than all of us and had herself a good ole time. But the old husband had meds to take and she had to put him to bed first. I was glad she had soooo much fun with my Mr Fixit....yeah, I loan him out like that, but only for old women who are very sassy!!

So, the whole evening....while Mr Fixit is flirting and teasing to the limit and laughing that ornery loud laugh he has, I have other family members coming up to me...thanking me profusely for bringing Mr Fixit to keep mom/grandma occupied. Apparently, they have all been sassi-fried many times over by the outspoken, no couth, 'cut to the point and to hell with feelings' old woman. And they are delighted to have somebody there keeping her from getting fussy in everybody's business in front of the entire family. Mr Fixit seemed to be the babysitter of the evening that everybody in the family was delighted to have around. I even got asked to Thanksgiving Dinner with their family...."God yes, bring him to Thanksgiving, we could all eat in peace!!!" OH LMFAO!!!!

Well, yeah, nothing new to me....Mr Fixit has got several old ladies most people don't care for because they are sassy and outspoken and telling you how it is when you don't want to hear it from them, in his back pocket and eating out of his hand. He's got a natural born talent for it I guess...I've seen it go down before, but just never realized how amazingly good at it he really is. He's like a sassy old gal magnet.....which would explain a lot about the attraction I have for him!! Yes it's all clear to me now. I'm gonna have to share him with all the sassy old gals in NE Kansas....but that's okay....truth be told, I kinda have a hankerin' for the old sassy gals myself!! And THAT'S the dill pickle bout that!!!