The Top Ten Reasons I Won't Be Attending My 30 Year Class Reunion

#10...(Hey, if David Letterman can work his way down the scale so can I!!)
I don't want to.

#9....Somebody has to stay away so they have somebody to talk about.

#8.....I can't remember half their names, nor do I want to try to learn them all, over the course of a weekend now.

#7.....Because people who show boat their possessions, education, careers or kids in anyway make my fricken ass twitch. And I would be the lucky one who ended up sitting at a table with two or more in a full blown contest to see who could out do the others.

#6....I don't care how fat the head cheerleader got, bless her heart, somebody buy her a $5 footlong.

#5....After 30 years, you could pretty much write off 85% as complete strangers.

#4.....If people fall out of your life as time goes on....there is usually a good reason.

#3.....I really don't enjoy gossip. So what if the football jock is bald now...you don't know...maybe he shaves his head so he can have his shine on. Please just get the hell away from me and go find somebody else to be judgemental with and compare notes with them.

#2....If we really didn't know each other 30 years ago, what magic in 'reunion' would make us enjoy spending time together now?

And the #1 Reason I Won't Be Attending My 30 Year Class Reunion.........
I just don't give a shit!! I don't care....simple as that. I'm not trying to be cruel, I really do hope everyone is happy and content in their lives, but those lives are so far removed from mine that I can't muster the energy to give a shit. So why would I go to visit with all these people I won't see again...most likely EVER....to learn about their lives, like I am suppose to care, and to pick up all these lame promises about getting together again soon...which of course we never will..... It just doesn't make any sense to me. We all got older, we all had at least one marriage or serious relationship, most of us had kids and they have since grown up. I don't even know them, why would I want to sit around with a polite smile on my face and listen to every little thing about them?? Don't care!!!

Okay, I realize that being female, I am suppose to desire details and retain all that info to pass on to somebody else after the reunion, but honestly...I just don't care. It might be different if someone in my class moved in next door, or worked in the same building...but being as far removed from me as everyone is....I just can't seem to make myself give one hairy rat's ass.

The really interesting thing about 30 years later, is that with the aid of FaceBook I have had the chance to reconnect with a few in my class and have really enjoyed sharing in who they are now. Most us didn't even run together in high school, but have formed a humorous bond of sorts thur our inbox comments. Now THAT I enjoy!! That I care about....That touches my life TODAY. And if I had the chance to get together with those chosen few, I'd jump on it with bells on!!! But the entire class?????? I think not!!

I got together with several women from my class several months ago. A few of them I had been good friends with in school, some of them I just kinda knew from a class. It blew me away to see how little some of them had changed. If you are my age...spitting distance from 50....then I don't think I have the grace to sit with a polite smile on my face and visit with you about your new store bought titties, (God NO!! I don't want to see/touch them!!), or all the guys clamoring for your attention on the Internet dating sights, or how your newest bed buddy is your daughter's age. Or..how your new boyfriend is so much nicer to your kids than your last one...they just hated him...Really? How long did you date him??......Oh gosh we were together 8 years.....Are you fucking kidding me? You dated a guy who was mean to your own children for eight fucking years????!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! Can I have a little depth here...can I rise above the shallow murk? How could you have come this far in life and not matured?!!! I just can't be around females at this age who haven't grown comfortable with themselves or know how to stand up for themselves or their kids. Oh sure, we all want to loose a few pounds or wash out the gray and everyone likes to avoid confrontation, but I've been around several from our class in recent months that have lower self esteem than when we were all in junior high....REALLY???? How does this happen? I just can't relate!! Haven't we all had a few hard knocks that made us grow and mature by now? Who are these people who have had life so easy as to still be the naive little twits they were in school? It blows my mind!! I'm afraid I'd go postal if I had to listen to too much for too long. Now that would make for some great local paper headlines!! "Woman goes postal at her class reunion...she claims insanity from having to listen to all the B.S." I use to think I was just going on in life at a normal rate, but now I have a feeling that all the difficult times I've lived thru have warped me beyond compare. Not sure how I ended up with this "This is me, take it or leave it and I don't give a rat's ass" attitude, but it sure comes in handy now!!! I just wish I would have had it 30 years ago!!

No...I'm quite happy remaining at home this weekend. Put up 13 quarts of spaghetti sauce and the clothesline is full...and Mr Fixit just backed in with his big service truck...back up alarm blaring and the puppies howling at the sound...or maybe just from the excitement of 'Daddy's home!!" ....I bought ribeyes for the grill and the beer is on ice......yes, I keep a cooler in the house filled with beer and ice all summer cause......I WORTH IT!!! LMAO!!! I hope we all have a wonderful weekend....and if you'll excuse me....mine is about to start!! :)

Bet you thought I forgot, didn't you......THAT folks....is the DILL PICKLE 'BOUT THAT!!!!!!!!