So, I've mentioned before that the Water Boy, fresh out of high school, has his heart set on the Air Force and being a pilot...after all, he already has those big ass sunglasses that pilots wear, so why not?!!! And he decided early in the summer that he was gonna go into the Air Force office and fill out all his paperwork on August 1st. Sounds like a good firm plan...until I showed him the calender in July and said, uhmmm honey, August first is a Sunday...guess you meant August 1st of 2011...now that will be a Monday and a great day to sign up.....Of course he wasn't biting that one, the little prick!!! So he went in on Monday, the 2nd of August, and filled out two and a half hours of the first basic form...took a simple short version of the tests he will have to take if accepted and allowed the recruiter to make copies of all his 'highly classified' information...namely driver's license, birth certificate, social security card, high school diploma etc. And this oh so professional Air Force Man tells my son that he will be running a background check on him and once that's complete he will get in touch. You see, joining up with the Air Force is a lot more like applying for a job...unlike the army...where if you have the mental and motor skills to open the door to the recruiter's office, you're in Baby!!! So....we wait.........
A week goes by...no phone call....now I'm not worried about the background check and neither is Water Boy...he has no criminal record and no credit score either...the kid's had a checking account for all of two months...so we know there will be no problems there....so I suggest....several times...until I'm yelled at for doing so.....that he call the recruiter and see what the hold up is. FINALLY he does....by now two weeks have gone by...and the guy tells him he's been very busy in training himself and hasn't had a chance to get to the Water Boy's file yet, bet he will as soon as he can get back to the office. Okay...we are on hold....Momma here is not minding that one bit!!! And another week goes by...still no call....and then...three and a half weeks later....he gets...the call......
Mr. Oh so Professional Recruiter had Water Boy's records...ALL OF THEM and his file, and the application that has everything from his entire family's address and phone numbers, in the trunk of his car and SOMEBODY broke into the car and STOLD THEM ALL!!!! So Water Boy will have to come back in and totally redo all of his paperwork...because all of it is now missing...floating out there in identity theft heaven. Well that's just fucking great!!!!!! To say I was foaming at the mouth would be quite the understatement. I'm livid....how dare they carry shit like that around with them...don't they have a clue what ruthless people can do with information like that???? And not only my son's, but there will several other application files in his truck as well!!!
So, Mr Shit Head Pencil Dick Recruiter has to replace his laptop...wonder how much top secret information he had on that?!!!! And he sets up an appointment with my son for the following Friday....which he cancels out on again...cause he can't get his shit together apparently....but he finally emails the application form....all 38 pages of it...which we have to print out. And then Water Boy gets the delightful task of of refilling it out. In the mean time, I am harping at him like Captain Ahab with a harpoon to Moby Dick about getting the police report number from the Shit head Pencil Dick and getting a copy and filing one of his own to protect himself when his credit hits the crapper....and I'm trying to explain everything that needs to be done and offering to help him, cause this pup just has no clue how bad this can fuck things up for him down the road...and I really don't want him to be in his 30s and trying to get a mortgage loan and find out he's screwed because the Air Force couldn't keep his info under lock and key......kinda makes you feel all safe and secure falling asleep in the good ole U S of A tonight now don't it!!!! Well, Water Boy takes all of this as a sign that I don't' think he's adult enough to handle it on his own, or that I think he's too stupid to get it done or whatever goes on in the head of a kid still wet behind the ears and I pretty much get my head bit off.
It is at this point that I, just like my blog and bottle cousins had to 'reflect' about this ass chewing from my baby boy. I came to the conclusion that I really had done far to much for him in the past 18 years to be talked to in the manner he was using.....not to mention that his car had died a painful death skidding off of freshly graded gravel on our washboard backroads and into a ditch...so I have been giving him rides all around the county....actually enjoying the time as it put us back to when he was younger with no license and no wheels and still my sweet baby boy, and I got to see some of his friends and wasn't put out at all about all the extra I was doing for him...no big deal right....I'm the momma, he's the baby boy...it's all good, right??!!! And something snapped inside as it occurred to me he was acting just like his father, which is one thing I don't have to put up with in the house I worked three jobs to keep over their heads....And I decided I would now step back and let the little asshole be THE MAN. You want it? You got it hotshot!!! He left with friends and i didn't call, didn't text, did my level best to not even care....of course I failed that shit badly...but I didn't contact him at all!! So he shows up last night all sweet and sheepish and wanting some help filling out some of the application....and help getting all this stuff copied off to take with him...oh and can he borrow my limping transmission challenged van to take all this in to the recruiter??? What???? Where's the man that can take care of himself? Where is that screaming guy telling me to get off his back HE can handle it??? I got a hug. Maybe there is hope after all. But if he ever starts acting like my ex again under my roof I'm gonna have to divorce him!!!!!
So I oh so casually text him tonight to see if he got the police report and filed one of his own today, cause that really is important. And he texted back it was all in the works and not to worry he was taking care of it....and I got an "I love you" too....yeah, there just may be hope for that boy. But I am gonna have a few words with the recruiter as soon as we get pass him...or maybe I'll just look up some friends who are high up in the ranks of the Air Force and share this story with them...anyway you look at it...the Sgt Shit head Pencil Dick has not heard the last from this woman!!!! And that's the dill pickle bout that!!
No comments:
Post a Comment