I'm all about wasting my time and energy. It's just what I LIVE for!! Like let's just take for instance....ohhhhhh I don't know....there are sooooo many to pick from...how but house cleaning. Yeah...that's a good one....that's one that's still making my ass twitch.
I ran errands on Saturday morning and hurried...YES, I HURRIED home to get the house cleaned as it hasn't seen much attention in a while and has reached the point that even I must exclaim as I walk thur the door....OH MY DAMN!!!! Yeah, it's reached the hateful stage where I just want to turn around and walk back out. I know it's all my shit...not like I'm going to catch a disease or anything...but still....ya just never know....soooooo I start in...dusting and sweeping and mopping.....scrubbing bathroom sinks......at which point I generally start cussing the sadistic bastard that came up with the idea to make them all white or cream or some light color that stains....and instead of making things fun...and running and jumping into the huge pile of swept-up pet hair that has accumulated on the hard wood floors, I get it all piled up and into the trash....I THOUGHT about it....that makes me young at heart....but I scooped it all up and got it...well, most of it...into the trash....that makes me a cranky old bitch who just wants to get the house clean so I can go do something I actually enjoy on my Saturday off. I even dragged out the mop and put a shiny gleen on the floors from the bedroom thru the kitchen.....and then I got a text and an invitation to go drink beer with a friend I haven't seen in a long time....so yeah, it was a tough call, but I made it......sometimes ya have to be responsible and finish something you start. Sometimes you have to put off fun and get your work done....sometimes you have to buckle down and just getRdone......this was NOT one of those times....of course I ran away to go drink beer with an old friend...are you crazy or what?????!!!!!!! It's fucking Saturday for crying out loud!!! Needless to say...I never made it back to the house cleaning project...I'm not shedding any tears about it.
So...I get up today....big Sunday to finish up what I know I will not be able to make myself do after working 9, 9.5, 10 hours everyday....yeah, work is insane right now...but I will enjoy the overtime check eventually...so it's all good....I'm all mature and shit so I can put off gratification for a while....I just know I'm going to be a worthless lop for the rest of the week and if I want it done....today is the day!!! So....I'm going to 'finish' cleaning the house right??? But here is the problem.....I can't tell today where I started and where I left off at!!!!! I shit you not....the half of the house I cleaned...LESS than 24 hours ago is now quite pitted again. Those beautiful hardwood floors in my office...covered with puppy prints and drying leaves and blooms from the tropical monsters I brought in last week to save them from the frost....yes, they are so grateful that they are doing their big shed since they aren't getting direct sunlight anymore. Thanks you ungrateful assholes....sure...go ahead....drop shit all over the office....you know the puppies love a new thing to shred.....which brings me back to the floors.....I don't really have a clue what they pulled from the trash....because it's only in about 2,000 pieces all over the office floor....tiny little pieces of paper or something....thanks my little Angels...mommy loves you so much....now get your carnivorous asses outside!!!!!...All the flat surfaces I painstakingly dusted with my handidandy little Swifter duster that smells like lavender and vanilla....you can write your name in them again....left a window cracked to get some fresh air...and road dust back into the house....I don't think it could stand long without it!!!! So yes....less than 24 hours and I need to start back at ground zero. So it will look nice for....oh golly...let's be generous and say 12 hours.
Why? This is the big thought running thur my head this morning. Why? What is the fucking point???? (oh alright, I'll credit the quote to my middle child...The Bohemian...but damnit the girl got a POINT!!!!) What is the true objective here? So see my pretty floors for a few hours? Seems pointless to go the extra effort and work to get them there for such a short time....I'd rather set up a thousand dominoes and watch them fall.....get's about as much accomplished...don't ya think??? Why do we do this? Why do we keep cleaning things to watch them get undone as fast as we do them? I'm having some TROUBLE with this one. Any one care to explain? If I left it go long enough....I'd have a pet hair carpet...and then you wouldn't see all the pet hair gathering in the corners!!!! Get rid of the pets and the old man?....actually I'd rather dig out my heart with a blunt spoon.....I can't live without my family....they stay.....so, here I sit....trying to decide what I can do that will last for more than a few hours....what meaningful thing can I take down that will make a difference in the world today. What can I exert my mind and energy on that will better all mankind......Well...I'm all about happy mediums......so I'm gonna broom ALL the floors and finish the laundry....and then...since I have a WHOLE DAY with Mr Fixit...I'm gonna drag him out to the patio and drink beer. ITS A PLAN FOLKS.....running in place sucks like no other......but I guess I can get thru it if I know there's a reward at the finish line....so to speak.....and a few beers and laughs with Mr Fixit will make a great reward....and then we'll come back in later tonight....and wade thru the fresh layer of dust and pet hairs and whatever the hell got shredded thru the course of the day...and we'll call it a good day off....cause that's just how we roll out here in the sticks!!! We can live with the dust and the pets and the plant droppings and still enjoy our home and our life here...what little bit we get to actually stay here and enjoy. We don't have to worry about getting our hair just right for the pictures in the Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot. We don't have to worry about the President and his wife stopping by for afternoon tea and a discussion on how fucked up the economy is...We don't have to deal with anyone who will turn their noses up at the pitiful sight our house is in....we've run them off years ago. Yes, I'll sweep up the mess again and make sure we have a path to the clean bathroom...wait...is that a toothpaste spot on the mirror??? Oh SON OF A MUTHER!!!! Okay...so I'll give the bathroom mirrors a quick once over again...and make sure we have clean dishes in the kitchen and we can find our way to the recliners tonight and can see thru the dust to the flat screen and we are gonna call it good...yep, that's how we roll out here in the country....Yep, that's just how we roll the dill pickle bout that!!!!
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