Empty Nesting

I found myself coming upon a thought today on the short ride home from work...it happens...coming up on a thought and a short drives home from work. I had just come from the store...stopped in after work to pick up a couple quick things I was out of...and I ran into an acquaintance who was having a shitty day. So we talked for a minute and she asked if we were going to the bar tonight for tacos.....maybe...I didn't really know for sure...and then I started for home. The concept of going to the bar for supper would never have come up a few years back. No extra money and kids in the house to raise. And I started thinking how shitty my life might be right now with out Mr Fixit in it. You see for years my kids were the end all be all of my existence. They were my sun and moon and midnight stars. After two divorces, my thoughts pretty much ran something like, Men come and men go, but my babies are my babies forever. And that still holds true today...they still are my kids and I still love them and I would still give them my last dime, but somewhere along the way they got a hold of those independent minds that I purposely raised them to have, and they found their own lives and their own ways and moved out and on down the road. Them sons a bitches abandon me is what happened!!! LOL And for all the years I poured myself into them, I never really ended up with a life of my own. Even after they moved out and off to school and work and their cool rentals and such, I still ended up pouring myself into their new lives and just never really worried about getting one for myself....but now....suddenly...it seems that I actually can. That's freaking and exciting and scary all at the same time!! I have a multitude of options now that I never had before, and I don't have a clue which one to take.

And it occurred to me today how lucky I am to have Mr Fixit in my world. He's like a permanent fixture now. So even though them brats grew up and moved on, I'm not alone. I have a playmate to run with everyday. And not just some guy that I've grown apart from over hundreds of years of doing our own thing, but a buddy who likes to do the same things I do, and suddenly we have extra play money and we both just stare at each other and laugh...okay...THIS is IT....we've got to find some LIVES!!!! How cool is that...to have the chance to go for something new and different and exciting in our worlds now....or I guess you could say how LAME is that, that we are just now deciding it's time for us to decided what the hell it is WE like and want to do with our lives. LOL Take your pick...I think I'll go for a heaping spoonful of each!!! :)

We headed out Sunday to the Renaissance festival in Bonner Springs. We haven't been in years...couldn't afford to go for one reason or another....spent all the money on getting kids in school and sport supplies and blah blah blah...but all that is behind us now...and we could actually afford to go and to BUY SHIT!!! Wow!!! So we went and walked around...I looked and looked at all this totally cool shit there, and finally Mr Fixit says, haven't you found anything you like yet??? And I say SURE I have, but it's all kinda expensive.......you see....I'm still in that mind set..of Look but don't touch....Browse but don't buy....get ideas to make something like this at home for the kids for Christmas, but don't burn all your money on it, or you won't be able to buy a soda for the way home......Well....Mr Fixit had to kick my ass into a new gear...I think it was overdrive...but you'll have to ask him, cause he's the mechanic of the household...anyhoo...he says, You point to something, or I'm gonna just start buying some shit for you!!! Well....since you put it THAT way.....so found some really cool Celtic design ear rings, and we found some cool pottery shot glasses....I doubt we will ever use them, but I thought the design they had made on their style of pottery was so eye catching and Mr Fixit wanted to buy some of it for our house...so four shot glasses it was....and then we went by this tie dye shop and he all but drags me in there and I pick out this amazing sun dress in greens and blues and lacy tie ups and uneven hem lines and it was just the SHIT!!! And we bought turkey legs and beer and lots of fun things....even flowers....cause the big titted girl hawking them would NOT leave us alone. And I HATE roses, and Mr Fixit knows that...but she had one stem of painted daisies and he paid her twice the asking price....cause she was one hell of a salesman!!! And we finally found a neat pottery bowl for this table he now has....it's a real wagon wheel with a team harness for the legs...and the hub sticks up higher than the glass top...so I was looking for something to set on top of it....and we found a really cool bowl with little straws coming up out of it to hold flowers....it's actually like a vase, but it's big and glazed and beautiful and looks really good on the table....I cut the daisies he bought for me down and put them in it when we got home.

It was just so strange to go and have money to play with and pick out things that WE wanted and not trying to buy for all the kids....as Mr Fixit it put it....FUCK them kids..WE'RE the kids now!!! So we played like kids and had a blast....gray hairs and wrinkles and all...we were feeling like the teenagers we passed by....except we had far more of our skin covered and far less tatoos and piercings...but you get the idea!!!! It was a crazy wonderful day of youth and ya know what...I think I liked the hell out of it!! I think I could go for another one just like it!! I think this empty nest shit is the BOMB!!! Oh don't get me wrong...I do miss my kids...and I do still worry about them...but there is a wild heady rush in this freedom we now have....and I think it may be addictive!!! MUWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ( the evil laugh)

So....come on by...but if we are not here...it's cause we have finally figured out we can go get a life and that's what we are up to...cept of course for when it's shitty cold out...then I won't be leaving the house....being old and having an empty nest means you can come and go as you please, or NOT as you please.....it's pretty much a win win situation....and I'm gonna have to think up something super wonderful to do to spoil the old man.....cause he really is making this part of my life a lot of fun. I'm grateful he's around...and my kids really ought to be too!! It's easier to let go of them when I have somebody else to hang on to.

Oh, and the big news of the house is that Water Boy just took his big Air Force tests and did super on them...like way above the passing mark and that means he can qualify for just about anything he wants to aim for...like being a pilot. SO YEAH for my smart son. I was secretly hoping he'd fail miserably and have to stay here with mommy for ever...but of course I didn't raise him to be a dumb ass, and so long as I can take some of the credit for his intelligence, and YES, I'M GOING TO!!!!!, then I will let him be a smart ass and head on down his happy little flyboy path...after all.....Mr Fixit and I have places to go and things to do and people to see!!! We are on a quest for our own lives.....THIS is gonna be wicked crazy fun!!!!
And that's the dill pickle bout that!!