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Dear Diary,

Well, I'm thinking this will be a far better place to store my hidden thoughts than anywhere else on earth. So...what are my hidden thoughts?

I'm almost to the point of being pissed at God for NOT helping me find a church to attend. I need that...grew up with it...miss it madly....things are spiraling out of control in my world and I need an anchor. But no.....no divine help from above over a good place for me to worship. Maybe that's the point....maybe He's so sick of the way organized religion has gotten He can't even find a decent church.....that's NOT helping my stress levels!!!

I'm overly tired of all the strain in my world...Mr Fixit is still not happy at his new job...he likes the work, hates the politics. My job is insanity with the new computer system bearing down on us and even my boss has no clue how things are going to work, or who is gonna do what when January 1st rolls around. Instead of things slowing down for the end of the year and having a lot of free time to shop and get ready for Christmas, we are all balls to the wall to learn this new system....which just sucks!!! I loved my job....will I love it after the first of the year? Remains to be seen.....Water Boy is recouping nicely from surgery...still has a whole that looks like ribeye steak, but it's smaller and getting better all the time...and I have mastered the Gauze Queen Role better than I could have imagined...now my Bohemian is having emotional meltdowns over the stress of school and work and dyslexia.....I hate to listen to her cry over the phone....rips my soul....I fight the urge to throw on jeans and drive to her little world every time. And then there's the pain in the neck and shoulder, which I have recently learned is NOT because I'm out of alignment...its all just stress.....GREAT!!!! And when you dump all that in a bowl and stir, you'll find it adds a delightful strain on the great thing Mr Fixit and I have...which is the last straw for me.....nowhere to run to now folks!!!!

Christmas is upon us and I can't seem to get excited. Got some stuff ordered on line...and really don't have a lot to get this year...it's all different now. Just cash and a few little things wrapped. Do I like Christmas with adult children? I'm thinking NOT. I miss the Barbie campers and the Leggo sets and the squeals of delight and the wrapping paper bomb that went off in the midst of our holiday gathering. It's not the same anymore, and I'm sad about it. Will their kids bring it all back for me? Will they have kids? If I follow the star will I find the Baby Jesus this year?

Okay...good thoughts....let's find the blessings......After scrubbing the kitchen floor yesterday and getting all the dirt out of those little holes, one of the dogs pissed on it last night!! I find that hysterical....they never pee on the kitchen floor....I guess they had an opinion to share about a clean floor. Hummmmm maybe I should hook them up with a blog too!!! I'm still laughing about it!! And quite frankly I second the motion...Piss on scrubbing this floor on my hands and knees!!

Mr Fixit has the day after Thanksgiving off AND that Saturday too!!! He wants to go car shopping for me!! This is exciting!! We can't find what I want on the net....apparently everyone who owns a Subaru Forrester that's three or four years old wants to hang on to it. I don't like the new body style after 2009...I want an older model...but there are none to be had anywhere within a 100 miles of here....CRAP!!! So we are looking at Honda CRVs...there are several of them around...might end up with one of those....I'm just asking God to hook me up with whatever He knows I'll end up loving....hope He has better luck with a car than a church!!

Thanksgiving is this week...that's a blessing too. It will be good to be around lots of family on both sides...two big meals...two dessert tables....and it will be great to come home to a quiet house at the end of the day...good good good all the way around. The Gypsy is even bringing her new boyfriend to meet the family at my mom's. This is really nice...she's finally found somebody she likes...I hope it lasts.....I have canned vegetables in my kitchen cabinets older than her last few relationships put together!!

I still have mum's blooming in the yard. This is the best of all. I can see them from my home office. They help me tremendously.....hardly little bastards, aren't they!!! They smile and wave and tell me to hang on....I'll have a yard full of blooms again in just a few short months!! Thanks girls....you are the shit!!!!

So, dill pickles all the way around.....and 0 Comments...but then, I don't need them for my private little thoughts now do I!!